The Best Part Of A Relationship

Conclusion:

Having been in a whole lot of relationships .. I can tell you one thing. Break up’s ain’t fun. Wait .. did I say that? I meant they are fun.

THEY ARE THE BEST PART OF HAVING BEEN IN A BLOODY RELATIONSHIP .. PERIOD!

Introduction:

So when all is fresh and rosey and the honeymoon stage has not even begun to take up its best form, every single one of us has faced the ugly moment when we repeat those ever so beautiful words written by John Green in ‘The Fault in Our Stars’ .. “Oh, I wouldn’t mind, Hazel Grace (or any bloody tom’s Dicks or harry’s). It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.” And we find ourselves feeling like, you know what, a break up is just never going to happen. NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER!

Middle:

And then comes the ugly day when this beautiful little caterpillar turns into the most beautiful flower and flutters (read: carries running shoes in his bag to be able to handle the distance and time between bang buddies) away to a thousand different flowers to deflower them (according to Monica Geller). So most women find themselves in the corner of a room, crying or eating or well doing anything to get them from thinking of that stupid relationship.

End:

But I find myself doing a whole lot of thinking!

Thinking of how I could make him get me a diamond ring the next time he comes home smelling like a perfume that doesn’t belong to me. Or how I can get a new car the next time there’s a little lipstick on his shirt and how I can get a new house the next time he has a hickie.

Or I simply think, if I hire a PI and get some pictures, I COULD GET EVERYTHING FROM THIS GUY!

I’D BE RICH … 

Ab Ki Baar .. Chod Yaar!

Hell Yeah!!!

So everyone’s asking me if I’m gonna vote and to start off .. Let me make this fuckin clear ..

HEYELL NO!

And no, I’m not gonna go on this rant about how the country and its government is never gonna change, instead I’m gonna stop a while and laugh at how you’ll actually thought this was gonna be a blog about politics. What I can’t rob a slogan? “oooo…plagerism”.

I’ve been going through some of the blogs up there lately and OMG .. (Oversized Male Genitalia .. its a condition look it up) when did people become such self obsessed narcissist douche bags? I mean, it isn’t enough that they dress like fashionistas to work/college but now they have to have a site about it too?

Now food, there’s a blog I’d read .. with all the pictures of the food oozing with 1500 calories per pixel and the recipes of how to make them so the next time someone tells your kid ‘copy cat, kill the rat, tell your mother to make you fat’ (#90sKidStupidRhymeReferenceYo), you can actually do it?

Or maybe, lets take time off from our long and tiring day and criticize the artists of today, whether in music or drawing (yea i said drawing .. I’mm middle class .. what u gonna do bout it?) or whatever. Jealous, much?

SELF PROCLAIMED GREATNESS MONOLOGUE BELOW:

What if there was a blog that could just make you laugh? Make better usage of your time, brighten up your mood and make you smile from ear to ear? Wouldn’t that just be the best?

#AbruptEndingToGetYouThinking